Last year at this time, I moved to Florida. I moved here because right after my husband and I’s anniversary in September, he proclaimed he wanted a divorce. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but it would be the last.

After 15 years of marriage, it was difficult for me to take. Not only that but a few weeks afterward, my grandmother died. In between traveling back home for her funeral, Thanksgiving, and figuring out where I’d go and what I’d do because my husband no longer wanted me, it was an extremely difficult and emotional time for me.

We’d been having problems for the last couple of years. I optimistically thought we could repair the relationship. Instead, it was like daily workouts doing ellipticals. We kept chugging away in the same spot never getting anywhere. The fact is we’re opposites. He’s logical, anal and hyper; I’m artsy, messy and laid back.

Last February, I traveled back to Charlotte to tie up loose ends. As we sat on barstools having lunch at Fox and Hound, he gave me the “let’s be friends” speech. Very adult of him, of course, though knowing his narcissist personality, it was probably meant more for his benefit. It was the last thing I wanted to hear from the man I have loved for over a decade. At the same time he told me that I would find someone more suited for me, someone who would appreciate the creative side of me that he so obviously didn’t. I didn’t believe him.

It’s now been a little over a year since our separation, and I have to say he was right. I’ve been seeing someone recently that has the same artistic bent as I. We have a lot in common. For the first time in a long time, I’m not pining over my ex. I really like this new man in my life.

As I sat with one of my girlfriends one day, I told her that I was still in love with my ex and would go back with him if he asked. It’s funny because I don’t think I believed it when I said it. Now, a few weeks later, I know I don’t believe it. I am now saying enough is enough. I have been clinging stubbornly to nothing for far too long. It’s time to put the past behind me and move on.

It’s a scary thought to start all over again at 45 years old. I don’t know where this new relationship will lead, but the one thing I’ve realized because of this new guy is that I’m finally beginning to heal.