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Oh, ‘tis the season for holiday stress. The pressure is on to buy the perfect gift, cook the perfect food, decorate the perfect house. The media increases the pressure by showing perfect families having perfect holidays, with perfect relationships, perfect parties, and perfect celebrations.

No matter your religious preferences, the holidays are the biggest money-maker season in retail. Magazines, television, radio, newspapers, even in your own mailbox, you’re inundated with exhortations to buy, buy, buy. Kids beg for the most expensive and shiny gadgets and toys on the markets, because after all, that’s what their friends are getting and they must keep up.

The economic times are difficult, and instead of going into the red end of credit, here are some suggestions for keeping things low-key, inexpensive, and more in keeping with the actual meaning of the season.

• · Turn off the television. Turning off the “boob tube” or at least limiting the viewing can alleviate more stress than you realize. At least you don’t have Martha Stewart or Paula Deen looking over your shoulder and criticizing your attempts at the perfect table setting or the perfect menu. Take a break from the commercials that only want you to spend your money on some new gizmo that you’ll never use and really don’t want.
• · Examine what the holiday means to you. Surprise! Although Christmas, to many, celebrates the birth of Jesus, it is historical fact that the celebration of Christmas was actually overlaid pagan ceremonies. This was done on purpose, to integrate Christianity with paganism. This is not to diminish the celebration of Christ; quite the contrary. But, it seems the message of peace and love has been lost somewhere in translation to the commercial Christmas of today. What does Christmas actually mean to you? Read the Bible, research the origins of the holiday, and keep an open mind as far as the way you wish to spend the season. Adopt new/old traditions that speak to you and your faith, whatever that may be.
• · Take the emphasis off the commercial and put it on the people. Take your children, grandchildren, and spouse or partner with you. Visit nursing homes, volunteer at soup kitchens, donate extra “stuff” to a battered women’s shelter instead of letting it gather dust in the basement. If you have extra money, instead of spending it on the lastest toy or gadget, put it in the bank or if you can, make a donation to a cause close to your heart. Visit a children’s hospital; spend time at a pet shelter; gather food for the needy. It doesn’t have to be something big or time consuming, but teaching your children and grandchildren the value of giving back to the community is a lesson all of us need to learn.
• · Trim the social schedule. Social activities are great, but too many leach precious time from our families. Do you really need to take part in all you have scheduled? What can you live without? Sit down and talk to your children about all the things they’re involved in – what activities mean the most to them and why? Madly dashing from Girl Scouts to band practice to ballet to basketball and then to choir practice is counter-productive to building a strong family unit. Not only is it wearing on you, it’s wearing on the kids, as well. Pick and choose – no one can have everything.
• · Who are you and what are you doing at my dinner table? When’s the last time you all sat down as a family and shared a meal? Fast food is okay once in awhile, but a steady diet isn’t healthy or cheap. It’s not really that fast, either. If your children are old enough, they can help you cook a healthy meal in 30 minutes or less (just ask Rachel Ray – she has some excellent recipes for just that) or you can throw something in a crockpot in the morning and it will be done when you arrive home. Enlist the help of family members to plan out menus. This way, everyone has a voice and is invested in the meal. Breaking bread together is a bonding experience, and probably the only time everyone sees each other during the day, and the holiday season is all about strengthening the bonds of family.
• · Scale back. It seems people spend a lot of time getting ready for Christmas and the next thing you know, there’s a pile of wrappings on the floor, the kids are already bored with their toys, and you have to pack them up to go to the grandparents to repeat the process. Instead of making a huge production out of Christmas, try a more low-key approach. Do your visiting the week before or week after, when things are a little more settled, and relax on Christmas Day. Never mind visitors for that one day; everyone can stay in the PJ’s, appreciating each other’s company and actually paying attention to the gifts, from who they came, and how they work.

These are just a few suggestions on how you can take the stress from what is supposed to be the most beautiful season of the year. In future posts, we’ll make suggestions on gift-giving, celebrations, and how to weather the storm of commercialism to make this the most special and wonderful holiday ever.

Image by Cindy at Rosehaven Cottage via Flickr

The holidays are rolling around again, with Thanksgiving as the warm-up. In this day and age, with the economy in the toilet, getting the gang together may be more difficult than usual. This might be the first Turkey Day you’ll spend without your loved ones near. Although there are plenty of movies depicting the holiday scene as one of joyousness and happiness, the truth is real life isn’t the movies, and this holiday season may be one big change for you.

After reaching the age of forty, you may find that the children have moved out and moved on, forming a family nucleus of their own and living too far away to visit. If you’re not planning a big shin-dig, you might be feeling lost and aimless not having a crew to cook for or clean up after. Here are some alternative suggestions to the traditional Thanksgiving festivities:

Go out to eat. Nothing says you have to stay home, and there are many restaurants that are open for service on Thanksgiving. Make your reservations early, dress comfortably and eat a leisurely dinner knowing you won’t be the one sweating in the kitchen or responsible for clean-up.

Order in. Supermarkets and restaurants offer complete meals for two to eight people including all the holiday fixings like turkey, ham, dressing and cranberry sauce. Some even provide disposable plates and utensils, meaning you can take the day off and relax, instead of traipsing between the stove and the dishwasher for the majority of the day.

Visit the kids. Make them do all the work! Instead of the kids coming to you, tell them you’re not doing Thanksgiving dinner this year, and ask them what time will they be serving dinner? It would be polite to volunteer to bring a side item, such as rolls or beverages, but put the onus of cooking where it belongs now that they’re grown up enough to have their own homes and families. Think of it as a benevolent “Mother’s Revenge”.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Many churches, homeless and women’s shelters offer a soup kitchen not only on Thanksgiving, but all through the year. Call your local Meals on Wheels, an organization that delivers meals to shut-ins, and ask if they need help with delivery service. You can volunteer to cook, serve or clean up, and it might inspire you to contribute throughout the year, when these organizations need help the most.

Make a difference. Donating in this economic time of need will go a long way to beating the holiday blues. No matter your circumstance, doing something nice for someone else is…well, a nice thing to do. One of the most inspirational stories we’ve read can be found here, at Vinnie’s Hope. Sometimes, it doesn’t take much to lift the clouds, and knowing that you have made a difference to someone can do just that.

Above all, remember it’s okay if you don’t like the holidays and don’t feel any of the cheer as depicted in pop culture. If you don’t feel like a traditional holiday dinner, by all means, buy a frozen pizza and some chicken wings and watch comedies on your DVD player. You don’t have to buy into the Hype of Holidays; make new traditions. As your life changes, it’s fine to change your holiday traditions as well.

We here at Over Forty and Loving It wish you a happy day, no matter how you wish to celebrate.