You know, I just cleaned out the spam filter in my email in-box. What a chore! Still, every once in a while, I like to look over the titles to see what the spam bots are up to, and what the trending topics seem to be.

The evergreen subject seems to be how to increase the size of my manly tool. That’s a big FAIL, seeing as I don’t have one. You’d think these bots would be a little more diligent in targeting their specific market. Actually, the only manly tool I have is a power drill. I consider the boyfriend’s manly tool on loan.

Another subject I see all the time is the best fat burner and most effective diet pill. First of all, the best fat burner I’ve ever experienced is a great romp between the sheets, if you smell what I’m cooking. As far as diet pills, I don’t know what’s in those things and I’m thinking it can’t be good.

I wonder if these un-targeted, virus- ridden, grammatical train wrecks of missives really net anyone any money. Are there people that really believe you can buy a bigger manhood/bigger boobs/thinner body/happier life in pill form for only $49.95 plus shipping and handling?

If only it were that easy.