Image by Harm Rhebergen via Flickr

Mondays suck. There not much anyone can do about it, it’s the beginning of the work week and unless you’re head over heels in love with your job (hey, it could happen) the job just sucks time away from what you’d rather be doing. You know, like surfing the gossip sites, spending time with loved ones, contemplating your navel.

Monday is really way too early in the week to have your brain together. Therefore, I present you with Monday’s Bits and Pieces.

1. John McCain scares me more than Sarah Palin. The guy is plainly several French fries short of a happy meal, and it frightens me to think his postulation of being a “maverick” and his inability to multi-task might take him to the White House. If that happens, start packing a lunch. We’re doomed.

2. Being a Noni (Italian slang for “grandma”) is one of the biggest joys of my life. I’m fortunate in that I’ve been able to spend some time with my kid and new grandkid, and it has been Grand. Sadly, this time is coming to a close and I’ll be a couple of states away. I don’t like this part. I’ve become quite attached to the little buggah. I have made my daughter sign a contract in blood that I will receive DAILY photos.

3. The change in the weather has been good/bad. Good, because I’m tired of basting in my own sweat like a piglet in a barbeque pit. Bad, because my joints (most specifically the knees right now) are protesting the cooler temperatures mightily. Oh, what I would give to get my 20 year-old body back from the bitch that stole it!

4. I might have to reformat the hard drive on my laptop. It’s bogging and slow and it gives me plenty to swear about. I’ve done it once before, testing out my Baby Geek skillz, and it was successful. Still, it’s a PIA and my external hard drive is in storage, so it will have to wait until I get home next week. I’m not looking forward to this.

5. I love football. Specifically, I’m a Giant’s fan. Unfortunately, in this part of the country they rarely televise the Giant’s games, although when they do I can’t take the stress (if you’ve watched a Giant’s game, you know whereof I speak) and I peek at the game through my fingers over my eyes. (Shut up. I know it’s weird.) No game Sunday; it was a bye week. Now, I’m all discombobulated. Nothing to celebrate and nothing to bitch about.

6. Paul Newman died at 83 from a long battle with lung cancer. He was one of my momma’s favorite actors – I hope she gets to meet him where they’re hanging out. He will be missed as much for his charitable activities as his film work. Not to mention his marriage to Joanne Woodward is one of the rare, long-lasting marriages in Hollywood (well, in the real world, too.) An accomplished man and well-respected. Not a bad way to exit Stage Left.

7. I am beyond pissed off about the Big Financial Bailout. How is it we can find $700 BILLION to bail these assholes out (and I bet they’ve never eaten raman noodle soup for two weeks until payday) when we don’t have the money to fund Social Security, Medicare or offer decent health coverage to all citizens of the US? Why is this so complicated? Jeezuz feckin’ cheeto, it’s not rocket science or brain surgery. I’ll be the first to admit I am totally ignorant when it comes to economics; I have a hard enough time balancing my own checkbook. But that’s YOUR job, the one we elected you (or appointed you, or pay you obscene amounts of money for) to do! Okay, stopping there before I give myself a rupture.

8. I might be old, I might now be a Noni, but I still have reflexes of a cat. My Muffin (my darling new grandson) has yet to baptize me with baby pee. Go, Noni!

9. “Dancing With The Stars” has premiered. I love this show. I know it’s cheesy, but I can’t help it. Anyone else shocked at how much weight Cheryl Burke put on? I swear to the stars that Kim Kardashian’s ass has it’s own zip code. You can probably see that sucker from space. Yes, she seems like a nice girl, but upon closer inspection, her claim to fame is being a step-daughter of Olympian Bruce Jenner, daughter of one of OJ Simpson’s lawyers and for making a sex tape (not with Bruce Jenner.) Heaven knows I’m far from a prude, but DWTS is billed as a “family” show, and I’m just wondering what kind of role model Kim Kardashian is for young girls. Yikes! I sound like my mother. Heh.

10. I’m still pissed off about the Bailout Clusterfuck, and more than disgusted about McCain’s “suspension” of his campaign. Gah. How dumb does he think we are? Don’t answer that.

Yeah, Mondays suck. The upside is, tomorrow it won’t be Monday anymore. YAY!

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