Dear WalMart,

We have never had the best relationship, but I’ve done my best to foster good relations. You, however, continue to task me.

Your barcode scanners are rarely correct, forcing the hapless check-out person to call for a price check. This, in turn, makes the impatient people behind me to cast dirty looks and bad wishes in my direction, as if it’s my fault you can’t get your shit together. Your feeble attempts to get me to pay an extra fifty cents for laundry soap in order to avoid the daggers thrown in my direction is an epic FAIL.

I will take the frustrated mumbling of disgruntled customers and resist the urge to simply swell your coffers with my two quarters just to get out of the embarrassment. I will stand here patiently while Operation Price Check is in progress; I will not voice the many swear words tumbling through my head.

What I will do is buy my laundry soap elsewhere.

Sincerely,

A Convert to Kmart