Close enough. Serious back pain going on here, but I have to admit, it’s my own fault. I do have spinal stenosis, which is no fun, and I’ve always known it was going to get worse. The problem is, too much activity (or rain, how I hate the rain) can trigger off a very painful episode. Then, I’m reaching for the IB, naproxen, or tylenol and taking long drives in my car with the heated seat and long showers. (I’d soak in the bathtub but I have this overwhelming fear I’ll get stuck and then someone will have to call 911 to come and get the naked fat lady out of the tub — I’d die of embarrassment. I’d rather starve to death in the bathtub.)

A friend recommended I switch from summer flip-flops to mbt shoes, but I’m a barefoot kinda gal and I’m not sure it would make much difference at this point.

What I need is my 20 year-old body back from the bitch that stole it. Heh.

Yes, it’s yet another move. I think I’ve lost count the last couple of years — it’s been wild. One thing about moving often, and that is you really become good at traveling light. Every time I move I downsize a little bit more — pretty soon, I’ll be down to a backpack and a computer bag and nothing else. Really, at my age, what’s wrong with that?

On the downside, these high temperatures are killer. The humidity is so thick I feel like I need a inogen oxygen concentrator just to get from the car to the new front door. I hate moving in summer.

This has been the hottest summer I have ever experienced. I mean, it’s been CRAZY. Right now we’re in the middle of triple digit temperatures, and those promotional umbrellas I got from the zoo? Haven’t had to break them out AT ALL. No rain, no relief.

I’m not used to this. I grew up in central New York, and I think the hottest it ever got there was 57 degrees. (Kidding.)

I’ve also read that the crime rate goes up when it’s hot — and that the heat may not be a cause, but a factor. I can believe it. Everyone seems extra-crabby and easily annoyed. Going outside in public when it’s this hot is torture.

The best advice for this kind of weather is to stay in the A/C, drink lots of water, and stay in the A/C. And that’s just what I’m going to do.

I never considered myself much of a crafter until one fateful autumn day when I picked up a hot glue gun. Next thing you know, I was hot gluing flowers and sparkling things all over baskets as gifts, and when people saw these gifts, they wanted to buy them. I had a lot of fun making hats to hang on the wall, towel holders from embroidery hoops, and baby baskets filled with all kinds of cute stuff for baby showers.

I had learned to crochet and knit when I was a child from my momma. But, it wasn’t until I entered adulthood that I really began to appreciate the craftsmanship involved in yarn work, and the most I could ever produce were afghans or ponchos — you know, the kind of stuff that doesn’t need a pattern.

From there, I got into all kinds of different crafts — quilting, cross stitch, even bought a bunch of jewelry making supplies and crafted ankle bracelets which were a big hit. I gave most of them away as gifts to my friends. I really haven’t made or sold much in the last few years, since writing has really eaten up a lot of my time. I miss it.

Although I tried to parlay my small, teeny, itsy bitsy talent into something more lucrative, it never really worked out. One of my daughters crochets and is a little bit crafty, and that makes me feel good. I’m afraid in this day and age a lot of crafts are becoming lost in the years, and that’s a shame. There’s something so gratifying about crafting something with your own two hands.

What hobbies do you have or would like to learn?

From the time my son, Z-Man, was about 9 or 10, we let him wear the big baggy style of pants that was and still kind of is, popular in hip hop clothes. Actually, from what I can tell, the style might have originated with skate boarders and inline rollar bladers. They needed the looser, less restrictive style to pull off their stunts. As a matter of fact, I remember the poplar hip hop brand, Ecko, starting as a skater brand of clothing.

Some of his friends’ parents had a problem with his baggy pants (although I never let him wear them below his butt– “Pull your pants up, boy!” I used to always tell him) because I guess they thought he was into drugs or running around getting into trouble. They really didn’t know my kid at all; other than the way he expressed his not-like-the-rest-of-the-pack individuality in his art, dress, hair, music and yes the occasional piercing, he was and still is a straight arrow. Sadly, those parents, and others, chose to judge the book by its cover. What a shame, and what a valuable lesson missed for them.

Well, here is truly the downside, and a note to other parents. Because we did let him go through some of his physical formative years wearing those baggy pants, he has developed a, um, a distinctive walk. A wide stance walk that comes from 10 years of trying to keep his pants up.

But, hey, he had a decent upbringing. We took him to OzzFest when he was 12, letting listen to whatever music he wanted, let him dye his hair whatever color he wanted, but we were strict on the values that really mattered and had plenty of rules in place. So as long as kids know right from wrong, let them express their individuality however they want.

Although it has been hotter than the butt crack of Lucifer around here, there are some chores around the house you just shouldn’t put off. It may seem like the cooler weather will never get here, but before you know it, it will be time to turn off the air conditioner and turn on the furnace.

Before you do that, take the time now to change out or clean your furnace filters. Do it now, before the weather turns and you are caught unprepared because there only thing that’s worse than feeling like you’re frying in a frying pan is turning on the furnace and getting bupkis.

Personally, I prefer the cold over the heat because of one simple reason: when it gets cold, you can always put on another layer of clothes. When it gets this hot, you can only get so naked. And baby, it’s miserable.

Stay cool. At least until autumn hits. I CAN’T WAIT.

Remind me I said that when I’m bitching about how cold it is, willya?

One thing I have learned in all my years of moving from place to place, and that’s how to buy mattresses. This is one piece of furniture I will not buy used and on which I will not skimp. Especially at my age when a good night’s sleep is of premium importance, I will have a good mattress.

Not too soft, not too firm…and actually, the most comfortable mattress I ever had was a hotel mattress. I miss that thing, I truly do. My last purchase was a Serta, and with the addition of a memory foam topper, it is very comfortable and I love it.

A good night’s sleep starts with a good mattress. It’s worth the money.

You know I have a hate-hate relationship with Walmart, right? I think everyone does. I just never seem to have a smooth experience when I shop there. From the first step into the store, where the appealing (??) aroma of cooked-to-death chicken hits me in the face to the shelves that house everything but what I’m there for. And, to top it off, the joyful experience of waiting in line for a price check or for the clerk to change the paper in her receipt printer which can take 30 seconds to 30 minutes.

Yes, I’m hating on Walmart, but if I’m to be truly honest, I just dislike shopping. Too many people, some of whom are dressed for another planet, and too much money — I’d rather shop at garage sales.

Actually, I’d rather have a magic genie that I could rub. Heh.

The one thing I like about contemporary sofas as opposed to the “old-fashioned” ones is the microfiber stuff. So soft, easy to clean, and it comes in a variety of colors for any decor.

Which is all just bullshit, really. You know what I look for in furniture? Comfort, and size. It has to be comfortable and built to accommodate a fat-bottomed girl. Room for two is a plus. (Geez, this is starting to sound like a personal ad, isn’t it?) I’m really picky when it comes to buying furniture, especially if it’s brand-new. I figure it’s an investment — whatever I end up with will be with me for quite a few years. So, I want what I want.

I want furniture built just like me — built for comfort.

The best flea treatment for a beloved pet is as crutial as taking care of the best acne treatment for a teenager. Believe it or not, Chico the chiuaua who was actually inherited from my oldest sister after her first divorce, was allergic to fleas! Are you kidding me? A dog with an allergy to fleas? My poodle Angie, who we owned even younger than when we had Chico, was allergic to grass. What are the odds?

Flea infestation is a tough one to beat. It takes viligance and daily dedication.

I’ve now had three middle to large sized dogs. They needed a once a week bathing, a once monthly dose of Frontline or something similar, and a constant washing of bedding (pillows, sheets, comforters, shams and such. Several times a month.) On top of that Wal Mart (and I don’t have the name brand at hand) offers a spray that you can spray your couch and fabric chairs with. They also offer a great powder which is spread on the floor and vacuumed up. Once you do the carpets, several times the first week, then at least weekly, and spray the fabric furniture which should also be hand-vac’ed several times the first week and then once a week, you’ll see an improvement.

It’s like raising a child with allergens, the first month is the toughest, but once you stay the course, it just needs a once a month consistency to keep the fleas at bay.