Yeah, I might be on a roll today. What can I say?

I love TV. Sometimes I consider it a really bad habit, and sometimes I’m amazed, astonished, and ever-entertained by what goes on in the world of TV Land. Other times, I want to put my foot right through the tube. The reason?

Commercials.

What dreck. What depressing drivel. Between the commercials for depression that “hurts everyone” (like that’s something a depressive wants to hear, I wonder how many people threw themselves under a bus after being told their depression is painful for EVERYONE, like they don’t know) to lawyers with shark fins on their back telling you how rich you can become by suing everyone in the universe because you have malignant Mesothelioma (as if the money is more important that adding some years to your life) I’d rather watch my favorite shows on Hulu.com.

Their commercials are a lot nicer. And a lot shorter. And they don’t make me feel like getting the bus schedule out. Heh.

Maybe it’s the turn of the season, or the change in the weather, but I’m feeling rather crabby.

Part of it too, could be just the years creeping up on me. In addition to my regular Old People Complaints, you know, like the GI tract thing I’ve got going on, I seem to have broken out in a rash of pimples. Yes, actual pimples. Pimples like I haven’t seen since I was in high school. What the hell is up with that? I mean, REALLY. It’s bad enough I have wrinkles, it’s bad enough I’m looking at Depends undergarments like they were life preservers, but I have to suffer through this indignity?

I’m not supposed to be buying Acnepril. I’m supposed to be buying Oil of Olay!

Gah.

Ever since the ousting of the Evil Gall Bladder, I’ve had nothing but trouble. I’m popping antacids like they’re gonna outlaw them tomorrow, and I have to be careful of what I eat. During the day I can handle it, but at night…well, let’s say I’d pay a lot of money for a good night’s sleep right about now.

About the only thing that saves me at all is piling up the pillows and sleeping semi-upright, and you know what? That sucks. You know why? Because I’m a side sleeper, and sleeping on my back does not thrill me. At all. I need to invest in a couple of bed wedges and see if that helps. Maybe if I stuff them under the mattress, I can still sleep on my side.

Can you believe this is what my “Golden Years” are reduced to? All I know is, I want my 20 year-old body back from the bitch that stole it. Hell, at this point I’d take even my 30 year-old body.

If you see that wench, grab her for me. She’s in big trouble.

I’m on the only one who gets frustrated at the Yellow Pages directories list. It’s never what you’re looking for. I want a doctor, not a physician. I want a lawyer, not an attorney. I want car parts, and not automotive.

Ok, well, those are easy, really. But some of the other may be a little tougher. I want curtains, not drapes or draperies. Why oh why do I have to search for hair salons under “beauty?”

In my local phonebook, “air” covers a whole lot of things: aerospace, air balancing (just what is that?) air brushes, air conditionings. No air-head though.

And why are we still using the term “grocers?” Can’t we decide on either supermarkets or grocery stores?

Over the years, I think Yellow Book, as it’s now called, has done a little better at organizing their directories. Heh, I hardly use the paper book anymore. Now I just search it online when I need to find something. It’s usually quicker.

I don’t know if it’s still on t.v., but a few years back there was a show on one of the home improvement channels where people would get a room in their house redecorated for less than $1000. It might even have been less than that, maybe $500. One of the things I loved about that show was that they re-purposed items.

Here are some examples of some inexpensive items that will not only add unusual decoration to your home, but which can also be easily re-purposed.

School desks: Check school supply stores, antique stores or estate sales for older classroom desks. Of course the newer desks are usually all in one, but think of the ones us old-timers used in grade school, where the seat actually pulled up to the desk and had an open shelf below. It can be used as a cookbook station, outdoor gardening station, or an unusual plant stand (with room for a few small gardening tools.)

Pews: Yes, you heard me right. Church pews. I remember in the 70’s one of the local hospitals was remodeling and growing. They had tiny two-seater church pews they were selling from the small (soon to be enlarged) chapel on the grounds. They were beautifully handcrafted, and had a little nook for bibles hidden behind the seat back. My mom fell in love with it, bought it for a song, stripped it down, refinished it and set it in a small empty space in her den. Not only was it functional as a place to hide in the room and read, but it’s always been a really great conversation piece.

Free-standing home bars: What do I mean by that? Well, my neighbor had this lovely 4-5 foot long wicker tiki-bar on his patio. Of course it had the overhanging lip on one side, so stools could be pulled underneath, and the “bar” side had a few shelves hidden below for storage. I mentioned it to him one day how much I liked it, and he explained to me that he was actually going to re-purpose it for his 3 rd grade class as a reading station. He would be able to sit 3-4 students on one side with their books, while he could stand on the other side to help them with their reading skills. Now that’s a great idea, but it could also work in your home as well. Use it as a computer station (with storage to hide the CPU, printers, fax, scanner, disks.)

So next time you visit a flea market, an antique store, a anything supply store or an estate sale, used your imagination and think green. Don’t look at objects at face value purpose. Instead look at them as how they could be used while doing your part to recycle. Re-purposing and decorating with the unusual is only limited by your imagination.

My puppy is now about 3 months old. I have to tell you, she’s killing me with the house breaking. She’s stubborn, difficult and this process has been harder than my piece of 1970 Samsonite luggage.

House breaking is a steady process. I’m trying to remain calm. She has good days, and bad, so hopefully, eventually, she’ll get the hang of it. The good news is that she can go about 6 hours at night without peeing inside. So there is hope for her yet.

Everything else, she’s pretty decent about. Well, she does like to chew on my flip flops, but I think we’re just about over that hurdle.

*Sigh* This is why I wanted an older dog. But she is too cute, which is part of the problem because it’s so hard to get mad at her. She kind of has me wrapped around her little paw.

I love Project Runway.

There’s no way on earth I could (or would!) wear any of those clothes. Remember, you’re looking at the girls that thought her prom date’s ruffled blue tuxedo shirt was the epitome of fashion. Let’s not even mention his white shoes, okay?

*sigh*

I think what I love about the show is the creative process. Oh, yeah, let’s not forget the bitchy drama. I love bitchy drama, as long as it’s in anyone else’s life but mine.

I only wish I could tell people “You’re out!” like Heidi does. Heh.

You know what I’ve been thinking about for a long time? I’ve had the idea for nearly ten years. A data center virtualization. Oh, that sounds so fancy doesn’t it? And its probably more correct to say date virtualization center instead. What I mean is, in simple terms, a cyber-café. Only I want it to be a bit more. I want to do a used bookstore and feature local artists’ works on the walls, maybe a little coffee, soda, a scone or two, and possibly some garments from local designers, with large couches and comfy chairs, kind of like Book-A-Million. All beachy, of course.

Now, does anyone know how to write up a business proposal? Because that’s all I need. That expertise. I’m pretty sure being a disabled woman I can get the funding, but I don’t know how to do a proposal.

And honestly, since I live in a tourist town, if the location were right (and I have a few ideas on that) I could make a decent go of it. I’m willing to pay a small percentage to anyone who can help me write a good business proposal.

After all, it’s never too late to start a new life and live your dreams, now is it?